The Fat Monica Episode of Friends

anorexic twins

fat monica

I had the delightful horror of watching the “fat monica” episode of friends. The true horror of friends is that we are celebrating the wonderful successful fake lives of three dumb vapid anorexic women who date three dumb vapid men (chandler being only half vapid, ross being the castrated wimp vapid man whose supposed to be smart and have a Phd but isn’t smart at all, and Joey, the truly vapid sex symbol who speaks in a few words most famously “How You Doing”)

In the “fat Monica” episode, Courtney Cox, a tiny anorexic seeming woman, dons a fat suit. And much of the show is a play on how funny it is to be fat. They make sure to make her face fat as well, because, of course fat people have to have very fat faces.

The troika of seeming anorexics on the women side – Lisa Kudrow who seems healthiest and just naturally skinny, Jennifer Aniston who is twice dumped by fiancees and according to the tabloids lives a thoroughly miserable life in the real world, and Courtney Cox. Cox at least, seems to be naturally skinny. But when Jennifer Aniston joined the set she seemed “FAT” at 150 pounds and immediately set about dieting down.

Anistons body issues stick with her to this day. Nov 27, 2009 – “Jennifer Aniston apparently thinks she’s “fat and ugly” after seeing paparazzi … of herself in Mexico, she said she felt fat and ugly and burst into tears.” Jennifer Aniston has reportedly suffered a miscarriage that has left the 45-year-old actress devastated as her wedding nears (her fiancee ran off at the alter). Did years of starvation leave her body too weak to bear children? There’s no way to know for sure. “Jul 31, 2014 – Jennifer Aniston was reportedly left waiting at the altar after Justin Theroux hit the brakes during a secret ceremony in Mexico this month”  Is this the life of success? Aniston has a reported net worth of 200 million dollars and a fancy malibu house. Do you think she’s happy? Aniston now stays home alone in her fancy houses…

janiston4

Starvation also starves the brain, also in critical years of development. The brain requires fats to build itself. Take them away, and you get a brain with holes like swiss cheese. This is the “friends girl” model of womanhood.

This attitude pervaded the 90s and 00s. But it’s gone now thank goodness. Crossfit, America Ninja Warrior, Girls in the MMA, a new attitude that strength and fitness and BRAINS is what is sexy, not dumb starved girls. When I see dumb starved girls, I don’t ask them out, I give them a sandwich.

There is a new model for women. Her name is Kacy Catanzaro. First women to beat the 14′ wall on American Gladiator and she did it at only 5′ tall. First woman to beat the semi final course. And she was only stopped by “the monkey wall” where even legs at a perfect 180 degree split she simply did not have the frame wide enough to grip the walls.

five feet of power and muscle! Kacy Catanzaro is a new standard for women

five feet of power and muscle! Kacy Catanzaro is a new standard for women

And then there is Ronda Rousey, undefeated MMA star who typically crushes opponents in ten seconds.

Rhonda Rousey can kick your butt. Yes really.

Ronda Rousey can kick your butt. Yes really.

Well, you can have your brain starved stupid addled “friends” girl, I’ll take mine with a bit of muscle thank you very much.

Ronda shows strength is sexy…

rondanude

And that fat monica episode? The joke is on them. By today’s standards its garrish and ugly, like the people in the series. Dumb is never sexy, even when they have fake PHds. And even Aniston is getting the message, sporting some muscle in her new fitter physique…

Jennifer Aniston wearing short shorts on set in Miami

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