Airplanes Begin To Crash All Over America, FAA Puzzled

Ethiopian pilot to be polishes first airpline which has yet to fly “It’s like shining shoes only bigger!” says a happy Nm’biki Talanthiku, a hopeful new pilot for the FAA’s new “experience and tests don’t matter” program to hire air traffic controllers and hopefully even Air Force One pilots.

“I didn’t do so good on tests but I love to fly and nothing would make me happier than to fly Obamas big goose” – said Nm’Biki

 

No one seems to know why but suddenly airplanes are crashing all over America, into the ground, into mountains, and into each other. Other spiral endlessly around airports unable to land and almost run out of gas.

“It was close, we only had five minutes left” said one pilot.

But don’t blame pilots, or crowded skies, instead, maybe it has something to do with the new FAA policy to help get blacks and minorities hired. So much so that all the top qualified candidates this year were told to go home.

“In school I did very well. I graduated with a 3.8 GPA. I passed the AT-SAT exam with a 99.5 percent, a near perfect score on the test that the FAA said you’ve got to pass,” said Meryhew. “I knew I had a passion for the position. It’s something that I wanted to do. I dedicated and put everything I had into the program.”

This year thousands of students like Ryan Meryhew were told they were no longer eligible to proceed with the application process. In February, the FAA ignored the pool of applicants waiting to be interviewed for air traffic control positions who had already graduated from school and passed the AT-SAT exam.

“We have to open the door to minorities and they will not have to take the CTI course or the AT-SAT test. Instead we are selecting them based on their backgrounds in their own environments” said an anonymous source at the FAA.

Air force one is also being upgraded with new pilots who also did not have to pass the rigorous limits of aviation school and years of training. Wait, actually that isn’t true, Air Force One will still have seasoned white pilots who have years and years of experience and passed many rigorous tests. Obama will be secure when he flies, just the rest of us wont.

A proposal – A new law that ONLY these minority hires will be allowed to be air traffic controllers for government planes including air force one.

 

13. Colonel Scott Turner (VC-25A)
Currently Serving: President Barack Obama
(January 2009 to present)
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